I've been home for the last 10 days for a special EEG test called a VEEG- they video record you every second of every day you're there. It has been helpful during "events" as they call them. I like the word seizure (hey, that's what it is, no use sugar coating it, at least for me...) as that's what I call it but hey, seizures are dance parties so event does seem applicable.
Whenever I'm in an airport (like I am now) heading back to university, I'm always sad. I don't ever want to leave my family and the comforts of home- I'm pretty sick of UniTown (again, anonymity appeals to me...maybe later I'll give you an initial for me) as the culture is feckin weird...too many badly behaved children. I feel mean for not liking kids as much as I used to- I was spoiled by the adorable and very well behaved girlie I used to babysit...two years old and only a few temper tantrums and she loved to sit in my lap and listen to me sing her to sleep. Precious. Now I'm surrounded by screaming children who have parents younger than me who seem to think their childrens are dollies to play with. Frustrating and rather annoying. The kids deserve better and deserve discipline to shape them into appropriate adolescents and adults. The real world isn't as kind as the majority of people in UniTown.
I'm also hesitant because I have two new roommates. I have no idea what to expect....hopefully they are better than my completely clueless, rude, obnoxious, and inconsiderate roommate from last semester. One of them has a therapy dog- a chihuahua. Tiny dogs make me nervous...I'm always afraid I'll seize and squash the thing or completely freak it out. I hope it doesn't bite- I don't do bitey dogs. At all. I'm being very tolerant and trying not to be weird about a tiny dog as a therapy dog. I've juuuust filled out my application for adoption for a beautiful German Shepherd named Lady so I'm so excited for a service animal. It'll be interesting (I'm not sure if she's staying for Fall/Winter/Spring/Summer next year (the contracts are a year long) in our apartment specifically- she could move downstairs or something for next year...who knows) to see how a chihuahua gets along with a big fluffy (and assuredly very sweet) German Shepherd. Lady gets along with any dog according to the rescue so things should be just fine on her end but I have no idea what this little dog is like. Again, trying not to be judgy at all but I also reeeally hope he/she doesn't yap. I don't do yappy either. I'm letting go of all that though- I want this spring and summer to be great. I'm going to miss my wonderful roomie who I loved this last year. She's moving to a less expensive place this summer but I hope she visits often. I'm going to miss her chronic hiccups and her burping (it wasn't grody or anything- she made it comfortable haha)- having a roomie who was comfortable in her own skin was very very refreshing. Love her! :)
I'm also nervous about the Awkward Seizure talk. They've been in the apartment for the better part of a week though so they will have seen the Epilepsy Foundation's "Tonic-Clonic Seizure First Aid" paper I've printed and posted on the fridge. I hope they'll be understanding and not weird about it...I know it can make people feel very uncomfortable. That said I hope to God I don't have a seizure today- I've been wetting myself during my tonic-clonics recently, which completely completely completely sucks...talk about embarrassing. It's not like I can help it, everything is out of control when I'm throwing a seizure.
Well, it'll be about 4 hours until I meet her (and my other roommate that I know positively nothing about). I'll have the silverware talk (I'm a freak and absolutely can't stand other people eating off my silverware...I even bring my own fork to restaurants...the idea of people eating off the same fork as me squicks me), and then talk about my epilepsy with both of them. There goes my nervous butterflies. I don't know why I worry so much. Everyone I've lived with that I've told about my epilepsy has been wonderful (last year was so wonderful- soooo much of a relief to have such kind, helpful, and understanding roommates who dropped everything many times to come to my aid and keep me from injuring myself) but I still worry about new people...some people completely freak out and that always has be a bit worried :/
Hopefully the flight is nice and has few screaming kiddies, and my shuttle ride lets me rest a bit. I got off the plane, had a petit mal- people were very cross with me- I stopped in the middle of the gangway to the plane and they got mad. Once I regained my wits enough to get moving again, I promptly and legitimately forgot how to tie my own shoes.
*sigh*
Epilepsy.....
-EpicEpileptic
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